I remember when I was younger and people asking what I wanted to be when I grew up and the answer was always a mom. I sometimes would think that maybe being a school teacher, or a nurse would be awesome too, but deep down inside all I wanted to do was stay home and raise kids and be a fun mom. I was blessed to be able to do that for so many years. I was also able to have others children in our home as their moms needed to work outside the home and I always welcomed them into my home and loved them as my own.
Who knew that one day those little boys would one day grow up and not need me as much as they used to. And, I'm not going to lie, it's hard. For so many years I was always "needed" for almost everything and now, not so much.
However, I have been paid back in so many ways as I have witnessed my boy on a mission. It is hard to explain how difficult it is to send him off into the big world and hope that we have taught him everything he needs to know and pray for his success and safety. But, I am learning so much about the power of faith and prayer as his letters and emails come in.
You can always read how he's doing on his personal missionary blog which you can link on the side bar, Come What May and Love it, but for my journaling and records, here's a little for my blog.
A few weeks ago my dear sweet Grandma passed away. I guess we always thought she would live forever. We went over to see Grandma Duke before Bridger left and we both talked about how perhaps she would not be here when he returned. Little did we realize just how quickly it would indeed happen that she would be called home. On this particular day as Wayne came into the house from work he had an handwritten letter from Bridger. A true tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father who knew I was wondering how we would tell him of this event and with this letter I knew he would be ok with the news. His letter was a wonderful answer to prayers. I knew he was struggling a little with some things and I had asked in faith to please whisper to his heart that I was with him as he was there. I will not type all his letter but wanted to document this. It was exactly what I need to hear and realized all my dreams and wishes of being just a mom was "paid in full".
In his words, This past couple of weeks I have thought a lot about you and our family and mom, man I love you. The past couple of weeks have been hard physically and mentally, like I am not complaining cause I figured out that does nothing and just makes me sound like an idiot, but somedays I am listening to my Ipod and I think about you and you are honestly what gets me through my days. When I feel bad honestly I just think about you and if you were there with me walking the streets and after I have that in my mind I want to work harder and talk to more people because you know the saying, "be the missionary your mom thinks you are" And that's what I do. I swear at times you are with me. I know that probably sounds so weird but really it's true. Thank you for being the greatest mom in the world! I'm not going to lie, I have never prayed this much in my life. There are some way fun times, here but also hard, frustrating ones as well and we learned that wenever I need to talk to someone whether it be in teh streets, church, lesson, etc., etc., I can say a prayer in my heart and talk to somebody, somebody that will be my friend and listen and help me. And at times my prayers aren't answered in a second or for the moment but I can feel comfort and know that things will be taken care of in the end. Thanks for your prayers, they help me a ton. I know that.
That is an answer to a worried mom's prayer. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful son who gets it. Come What May and Love It!!! and he does.
